Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Mercy in our Father's eye

Earlier today I played backgammon with my daughter Amy. She won the first game. She's learning like all my children before her. She got lucky. I had no mercy the next two games and made sure I won the tournament of three. I "gammoned" her both games. She wanted to play some more. " No, Amy, that's it for today."
I have been helping her as we play to learn good combinations; to watch for opportunities and plan ahead. In the past even if it didn't benefit me I would point out things to do or think about. Tonight I just played and let her make all the decisions. She will be a good backgammon player. But tonight I had no mercy and with whoops and great voice inflections I gloated! What a dad!
Amy had no hard feelings. We went and walked the dogs with Mom and Lani down by the lake. Does she understand.........mercy? Do I?
I would not help her tonight and she will be the better for it. I just don't like it when my Father does it to me. Because I doubt His wisdom when I look on the things handed to me and cry, "what do I do now?"
Whats next?" "
" When should I........?"
" How am I going to..............?"
But My Father is never like me! That would be to bring Him down, like comparing the Sun to a flashlight. He is merciful in giving and withholding.
My mercy is of a limited variety because just like tonight with Amy I still had to throw dice I could not control and they went my way. My mercy was qualified it was dependent on things going my way. ( I probably would not have been as gracious as her if I been gammoned twice!)
God never throws dice. He controls their outcome when men roll their lives. He gives grace to the undeserving and corrupt. The longer I'm on the road I see it.



I WAS FOUND BY THOSE WHO SOUGHT ME NOT,

I BECAME MANIFEST TO THOSE WHO DID NOT ASK FOR ME.

Romans 10:20

Mercy!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

New Eyes

I know as I grow older my physcial eyes have and will weaken. The eyes to really see, however, are stronger. For close to forty years I have strived to enter the narrow gate and walk on the narrow path. It improves the hindsight, foresight and insight to do so. In front of me I can see Him. To be sure the darkness inside me has many times clouded the path but He appears faithfully just ahead when most needed. Just a glimpse, a yearning, a joy anticipated, mostly a love given and received. Some day.........some day I'll see Him without a cloud in between and eyes, new ones, that will never grow dim but grow wider the longer the gaze is held.
I'm a journeyman and will be till I die.